Recently, there has been a shift from experiencing everything happening within space to it also happening as space.
During sitting this morning, there was a fluidity between these two (and the more conventional reactiveness) so I had an opportunity to explore their differences.
Several people in the Zendo made a good deal of sounds, which brought up some reactions in me.
- Caught up in
So I could get caught up in those reactions (by trying to pushing them away or fuel them), which created a sense of solidity, I and other, and suffering. This is the conventional reactiveness.
- In space
I allowed it all – the sounds and the reactions – to unfold within space. I found myself as space for it all. They came and went as guests, with no stickiness. And this made it tolerable, although the quality of what was brought up in me (reactiveness) was mostly the same as before. The difference is in blindly engaging in it or not, the sameness is in the quality of what comes up.
- As space
Then, I brought attention to the ground this all arises within, from and as. This stainless emptiness, taking the forms of all this and everything else in the world of phenomena. Everything is experienced as space, as – quite literally – emptiness dancing. The forms are the same, but with no substance. The qualities of it all dissolves in emptiness. And this gave a taste of a deeper and more complete liberation.
This is all still dependent on attention mostly. It is still a conscious practice.