In facilitating Big Mind earlier today, I noticed a discomfort coming up as we got closer to the pusher, and realized how this has become a disowned voice for me.
Can I speak to the pusher?
What do you do?
What are some of the things you push?
When I can, I push the self to do various things – to get work done, studies done, take care of himself healthwise, go beyond his comfort zone, and so on.
So you are not always able to?
No, he is actually pushing me away now. He does not want me in his life.
Why is that?
He got burnt. I was a very strong presence in his life some years back. He used me a lot to get all sorts of things done, and he was very successfully at it. I helped make his life an all-consuming fire back then, and then it all burnt up. He got exhausted. Burnt.
So now he is pushing you away?
Yes, he is pushing me away. I guess he is using me to push myself away.
What does that do for him?
It helps keep him away from that fire. But it also gives a flatness to his life. There is a lack of energy and passion, including passion to get daily tasks done. He is holding himself back, in what he perceives as a safe zone – and dull as well, I may add.
Did he enjoy it when you were stronger present?
Oh yes, he loved it. He loved the energy and passion there, and his ability to be so engaged and involved, and get so much done.
It seems that energy and passion are your allies?
Yes, in a certain way. I help push so things get done, so he gets beyond where he is at. And they add to it. We all work together in a certain sense.
I am the one that gets things done even if energy and passion are not there, but it makes it much easier when they join in so I try to make that happen whenever I can.
So you are really an important help to the self?
Oh yes, definitely. He would not be around if if wasn’t for me, and even if he was – he wouldn’t get much done.
I can help him with consistency, although he doesn’t quite see that. He thinks he needs energy and passion, but I alone am often sufficient. I can help him get things done, if he will let me – if he allows me in.
How can he allow you more into his life?
I think by stopping to be so afraid of me. He did get burnt, but he is really over that now – or can be if he only allows himself to. He can let me more into his life again, and now with more wisdom and maturity. I can be a great help to him, and in a quite different way from before.
Different, in what way?
With more discernment, and working more with allies.