In the awakening to selflessness, there is also a disidentification.

This process is also seen in many of the approaches I am exploring these days, including forms of inquiry such as the Big Mind process and Byron Katie’s The Work.

In each of these, there is a movement away from a sense of certain things being personal, private and about me, and towards the same things being impersonal, universal, and about just being human. There is a movement away from a general belief in ideas, taking them as true and accurate, and towards seeing what is true in my immediate experience, and abstractions as just maps of limited and temporary value.

From about me to universal

First, we believe in many ideas – including the idea of I, and it all seems very personal as well – as about me. I may not want to reveal it to others, or even to myself, because it seems to private.

Then, the beliefs erode and are seen through, and it all appears more and more impersonal – as just universally human.

Thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, roles, experiences, realizations, hangups – everything that seemed so personal, are now revealed as impersonal and universal. It is not really about me, although it comes up in my experience now.

In short, there is a disidentification with it. The same content may be there as before, but not identified with.


At the same time, there is a deepening sense of intimacy with whatever happens in the present.

As long as there is a belief in ideas – in a particular identity – I struggle with content, I try to hold onto some of it and push other things away. And this creates a sense of distance and separation to whatever happens in the present, to myself, others and life in general.

When these beliefs fall away – including any particular identity – the struggle also falls away. Everything is now allowed to live its own life, and this opens for a sense of intimacy with what is – with myself, others and life in general.

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