What I do not have within me

The Gospel of Thomas is known to be more esoteric (in the sense of reflecting a mystic’s approach) and closer to Eastern philosophies than many of the other gospels, both those included in the New Testament and not.

One of the sayings in the Gospel of Thomas is…

What you do not have within you will kill you.

This seems closely related to the being eaten by time vs. eating time topic. And it is another topic that can be explored with the Big Mind process, even if what is (Big Mind, Buddha Mind, Spirit) has not yet completely awakened to its own nature.

Identification as a fragment

If there is an identification as a fragment of what is, then whatever is “other” can (and eventually will) harm me – at least in my own experience.

Identification as Witness

If there is a belief in the thought I, now referring to Witness, to pure awareness, then I find myself as a mirror for the world of phenomena. The world of phenomena, including this human self and anything else, is arising within me and I am not touched by it, I am stainless. The world of phenomena is a seamless whole, including this human self and anything else. It is absent of I and Other. There is nothing outside of me to harm me.

But there is still a belief in the thought I, which does create a sense of Other. I am pure awareness, the world of phenomena is Other. There is a subtle sense of subject and object. There is still an identification with a fragment, even if this fragment is timeless and pure awareness. There may be an experience of oneness, intimacy and no separation with all there is, yet within a context of a(n apparently) subtle I and Other. So there is still something outside of me which can harm me, and it will so I can have an opportunity to see this.

If there is stuckness here, there can be a fall from grace allowing the remaining belief in the thought I to wear down and off (the dark night of the soul). Immediate experience is out of alignment with the belief in the thought I, so existence shakes things up to allow even this belief to erode and fall away.

Absent of beliefs

When there is an absence of belief in thoughts, including the thought I, there is really no inside or outside, no subtle I remaining to create a sense of a subtle Other. It all is, as it is. Or we can say that the whole field is I, beyond any sense of subject or object. There is nothing outside to harm, and no “me” to be harmed. It is all just emptiness dancing.


Another way to look at this is in terms of projections. Whenever something is perceived as only or mostly “out there”, there is a blind projection going on, and this can and will (apparently) harm me.

There is a belief in a set of thoughts, creating an identity, and whatever does not fit into this identity is experienced as “Other”. As long as these are seen as Other, there will be a sense of struggle, a sense of war with what is, an experience of stress and even suffering.

As what is seen as Other is gradually included in I or me, there is a gradual and progressive sense of wholeness, of being at home, of being at peace with what is.

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