Dream :: a memorial where I find my own name

Two vivid dreams on my fourth night at Breitenbush.

My mentor in a sci-fi movie

I visit TMF, my mentor from the Center for Sacred Sciences. In talking with him, I learn that he played one of the main characters in a sci-fi movie made a few years ago. It is quite well known, although I haven’t seen it yet. He gives me a DVD so I can watch it. The title was
Independence Day or a similar name, and he played a librarian – possibly a university librarian, and one of a group of four or five main characters in the movie.

A memorial where I find my own name

I am in an older city (in Europe or possibly New York City) and overhear a public lecture. It is held by a woman who is an acquaintance of mine, and is on the topic of the many forms and names of love. She talks about eros, agape, fidelity and so on. It seems that the talk may be in a catholic context. There are quite a few people listening in a lecture style auditorium. It is in a public space, maybe some form of market or mall, and partially open to the outdoors.

I see a large wall next to where she is speaking where letters can be mailed. I walk down to mail something, and realize that it is all part of a memorial event for soldiers who have died in war. As I walk up to the wall, the first I see is a letter with my name on it. It gives me a shock as all of these names are of young men who has died, and my name is one-of-a-kind.

There are two letters, both with my name on it. The address is to somewhere in Norway, and they were sent by a nun in a convent in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The return address is my own home address, only a few digits off. This is even more of a shock to me, and I feel that it is all about me somehow. The soldier had died at sea in 1915.

I want to open the letters, but cannot since they are not for me. I know I will eventually receive them since the address in Norway is not likely to be current, and the return address is mine. It has a big emotional impact on me to see my own name there among the dead, and also my own home address as the return address.

About a memorial where I find my own name

This dream had a big impact on me in the dream and after I woke up. I has stayed with me the whole day, and it seems to be what Jung called a “big dream”.

There is only a handful of people with my last name, and nobody alive in 1915 had it (it is a hyphenated name). There is, and has never been, anybody else with my name.

Within the dream, I felt very strongly that it was all for me: staged by the universe specifically for me, as an amazing synchronicity. It felt hugely significant, as maybe the most important event in my life.

As I stayed with the dream after waking up, these words came out of the blue: It is actually impossible to save you. (pause) Isn’t that beautiful?

The lecture hall was in a space similar to Pike Place Market in Seattle: older, very lively and colorful, worn and utilitarian. The wall by the lecturer was a combination of a postal wall and memorial wall. The letters were all displayed in a magazine rack style, and the ones with my name on it were right in front of me as I walked up to the wall. One letter was magazine size, the other book size. Both envelopes were relatively thick, and I knew they contained a large amount of historical material about this person, with my own name, who died in 1915. He died young, and at sea.

The historical information had been gathered over a long period of time by a nun in Milwaukee. As she was a nun, she had done so with a great deal of reverence and as service. My main association with Milwaukee is Process Work, as I went there regularly for quite a while to participate in a process work practice group and in workshops. Process Work is indeed one way to collect large amounts of information about a human self.

The return address was 4025 (?) S., while in real life I live on 5060 S., so it was just a little bit off. I knew that I would receive it anyway, since my name would be on it. The “to” address may have been to some historical center in southern Norway, although I also knew that the address was not current and the letters would be returned.

What comes up for me is that this may be another (?) dream about the death of “I” as this human self. And somehow, there is a large amount of information about this human self that will be available some time in the future. The topic of the talk was the many forms of love, and these are free to play themselves out when there is the death of the ego, the identification with/as the human self. The return address, slightly off, may indicate a shift in identity or in my physical location – a shift in or reorganizing of my human self.

About my mentor in a sci-fi movie

At dinner the night before the dream, I ran into a friend who mentioned he had talked with TMF a while back. Also, TMF had mentioned to me a while back the significance of (some) dreams about our own death. Both of these seem to point to the first dream. I am not sure what the sci-fi acting part could be about, although there was definitely a sense of versatility in the dream: of him being fluid and able to play many roles in life, including acting in a movie.

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