Cycles and surrender

I notice the usual cycles happening, of what I can see as ups and downs, light and dark, and of weaving it all together, journeying through it to discover the larger whole they all are parts of.

For a day or several days, there is luminosity, clarity, awakening related dreams, a clear sense of selflessness and this I as just a figment of the imagination.

Then, for a day or several days, there is dullness, aridity, with or without the sense of selflessness, shadow dreams, and sometimes also being caught up in the patterns of personality and the sense of I.

There is a sense of bringing the light of awareness into those areas excluded from awareness through all the many forms of resistance, such as identities, fears, hopes, attractions, aversions, habits and so on. There is a sense of journeying through the wider landscape beyond any identities, becoming familiar with it as the wider landscape.

And I notice how the only way “out” is to surrender any resistance, as a continuous practice. To surrender any resistance, any sense of I, any identities, fears, hopes, attractions, aversions, goals, wishes. To allow it all to go. To surrender any attachments to anything familiar, anything known, any wishes, any intentions apart from surrendering it all, and then surrendering that one too.

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