I did my first individual transformational breathwork session today, and it was certainly impactful. As before, when I did it on my own, there was a great deal of tension and tingling throughout the body, and I was out of it for a while afterwards – as if coming out of food poisoning – with shakiness and nausea. Can’t say I notice any “positive” effects from it yet, beyond the torture of it, but it may still happen.

I also see how a deep and rapid breathing in general for me tends to bring a collapse: running, kundalini yoga, and also breathwork all have a very similar effect.

It may be just the mechanics of breathing, or something else. But it could also be some frozen areas that are encountered in each of those areas. Frozenenss, emotionally (deadening), physically (tension) and view (rigidity, stuckness).

It certainly feels like more body oriented practices are right for me now, such as strength training (bfl), breathwork, and also different types of dance (five rhythms, ecstatic, etc.)

There is also a connection with the dream I had some days ago: I realized that I can see all as God and God’s will, but don’t have a felt-sense of it in the same way. There is a split there for me. The head center is relatively open, but there is still quite a bit further to go with the belly center. In going from a felt-sense of fear and lack of trust (in life, the universe, God), to a felt-sense trust, as so also more fluidity and wider range in behavior.

Note: It’s now 2011 and I am doing TRE – Trauma/Tension Release Exercises. This is a way of allowing a thawing of frozen areas in a way that feels much better to me. It’s gentler, more natural, and is guided by the body itself. Breathwork obviously works very well for many, if not most, people. But for me, and perhaps others whose system is a little on the edge, neurogenic tremoring is a gentler and more helpful approach.

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