Inquiry: They shouldn’t babysit

Statement: They shouldn’t babysit. (The leader/s of two groups I belong to.)

  1. True?
    No. But feels true sometimes.
  2. For sure?
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I get judgmental.
    • I run through the ways they babysit the students (hiding parts of the history, hiding parts of the path of senior teachers), the reasons it is not necessary (people can take care of themselves, and if not, then they’ll at least a chance to learn from it and grow through experience), and all the drawbacks of doing it. (it disempowers people, it creates distrust, it creates dependency, and more).
    • I experience separation between me and them, and the whole group. I am ambivalent about the teacher and the group, attracted to much of the content yet put off by some of the ways the teachers treat their students.
    • What am I not able to appreciate because of the belief? I am not quite able to appreciate the teachers and what they offer.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Able to work with the terrain from more clarity, appreciation and receptiveness. Taking it for what it is based on the simplest stories, without making a great deal of additional stories around it. Able to stay involved, or not, without being at the mercy of reactiveness or contraction.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • They should babysit. Well, that’s what they do. (According to my story.) They are teaching and running the groups the way they think is the best. They are coming from their own level of understanding. And I don’t really know what that understanding is, or their reasons for babysitting their students. Maybe it does protect the students from themselves. (Although for myself, I can still prefer to trust people to have a minimum of maturity, and ability to learn from their mistakes.)
    • I shouldn’t babysit. Yes. I shouldn’t babysit those teachers, telling them in my mind what they should do and not do. It is not my role, partly because they don’t appreciate that type of input. (Or at least, that is my experience.)
    • I should babysit. Well, I can babysit myself, finding what is already more true for me than my initial beliefs. And I can also babysit the teachers, by bringing this up to them. That feels much better for me: transparency, honesty, real engagement. (At least from my side, even if they don’t meet me there.)
    • They should trust. Yes. They should trust their students to be mature enough to be able to deal with open information and transparency. They should trust them to be able to learn from mistakes. (And if they are not, that too is fine.)
    • They shouldn’t trust. No. They don’t trust, based on their own views and experiences. They have their own reasons for it, which obviously are different from mine. They do what they have to do, based on their views, information, experience and the current context (of students accepting it and going along with it).
    • I should trust. Well, I can trust that whatever happens is workable. That it gives people things to work with. For me, it certainly gives me this inquiry to work with, and not only here writing it down but in my life and my interactions and relationships with these teachers and groups.
    • I shouldn’t trust. Right. I shouldn’t trust that the teachers know better, or that their views and strategies work for me. In this case, I can see all of this and still prefer teachers who trust their students and process, and are transparent, like Adyashanti and Byron Katie.

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