As long as we take ourselves to be a portion of the content of awareness, there will be a sense of precariousness. Partly because of a sense of a separate I, which is then vulnerable to the whims of the larger world. And partly because there is identification with something inherently transient.

There is a belief in a story, which creates a sense of I and Other. And this sense of a separate I is anchored on particular perceptions, such as sensations. Both of these steps are precarious. They need to be maintained, bolstered, protected, supported, actively fueled. And all of this takes a good deal of energy and attention, even if we are not consciously aware of it happening.

Initial draft…

Whenever there is a belief in stories, there is a sense of precariousness…

  • We need to maintain the belief
    • This always needs to happen here now.
    • We remind ourselves of it, bringing it to the foreground when needed.
    • We bolster it through developing and maintaining supporting stories. We defend the truth in the story and deny the truth in its reversals. We defend a position, shooting down the validity of other positions.
    • We need to defend a story, identity, position from the truth of its reversals, and we are constantly reminded of these truths of the reversals. We already know the truths in the reversals, yet pretend we don’t. So when the wider world reminds us, there is a sense of precariousness. Our charade is pointed out to us.
  • We need to anchor it in sensation.
    • Any story create a boundary with an inside and outside, so we need to anchor this boundary
      • in sensation
      • and in the overlay of thoughts creating a sense of extent and continuity.
      • When we anchor beliefs in body sensations, muscles tend to tense up to provide a more present anchor and lend a sense of substance to the story.
  • These boundaries are arbitrary, and overlaid on shifting perceptions.
    • The sense of I-Other shifts depending on the situation and what comes up, and the same is the case with
      • doer-not doer
      • gift-do self
      • right-wrong
      • us-them
  • All of this is content of awareness, in the world of form, so always in flux. There is no steady ground.
  • There is also a sense of discomfort
    • from a sense of separation
    • having to defend something
    • the energy it takes to engage in all of this

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