Inquiry: They shouldn’t make it so impersonal.

They shouldn’t make it so impersonal. (The topics of conversation.)

  1. True?
    Seems true now, after I decided this is why I wasn’t so engaged in the conversation.
  2. Sure?
    Not at all. Not sure that is why I wasn’t engaged and felt on the outside of the conversation. And not sure it “should” be any other way.
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I find a reason why I wasn’t engaged in the conversation and felt on the outside of it. And this reason makes me right and them wrong (at that time), so it helps me feel good about myself. It turns it from a feeling that something is wrong with me, to something being wrong with them.
    • This creates a sense of separation. I feel isolated. Lonely. Misunderstood. With the wrong group of people. A victim.
    • I initially go into a story of how I am good with conversations that are more personal, connected to our personal experiences, and not very good with conversations on abstract or impersonal topics. Then, I see what I am doing and feel bad about going into a story that only creates a sense of separation.
  4. Who would I be without that thought?
    I would be present. Feel alive. Connected. Receptive to them and what they are talking about. Interested. OK with listening or talking. (Not going into stories creating a sense of separation and isolation.)
  5. Turnarounds.
    • They should make it so impersonal. Yes, they do. It is obviously a pattern they are familiar and comfortable with, and enjoy, so why not? They are just doing something they enjoy. Also, it helps me see and explore what happens for me around it.
    • I shouldn’t make it so impersonal. When I create a sense of separation, my connection with them (and myself, and life!) feels impersonal. There is a coldness there, lack of intimacy, lack of realness and life.
    • I should make it so impersonal. Yes, I do. I go into beliefs around it, it feels impersonal, something feels off, so I get to explore what is going on. It is a wonderful process.
    • My thinking shouldn’t make it so impersonal. Thoughts are abstraction, inevitably impersonal. So when attention gets absorbed into thought, there is a sense of everything becoming impersonal, cold, lacking life. (When the center of gravity goes into thought and there is an identification with them.)
    • My thinking should make it so impersonal. Yes, that is all thinking can do. Thinking is abstraction, which is impersonal. Also, thoughts just happen so they are impersonal in that sense. And in a different way, they each have infinite causes reaching far beyond this one human self. The dynamics and patterns in these thoughts, happening here, are strongly flavored by culture and the conditions, evolution and history of humanity.

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