Arrogance and an open heart

I went to the CSS practitioner’s group tonight, and it brings up a lot of stuff for me. Lots of opportunity to see my own attachment to stories and stuck places. Mostly, there is some discomfort in a social situation, which then triggers other identities and beliefs.

After a while of listening to people speak, arrogance came up, a sense of being right, of seeing things more clearly, of not wanting my clarity to be muddled by their confusion, of not being in the right place, and so on. From being caught up in it and identified with it, I shifted into fully allowing the experience…. of arrogance, the jitteriness, discomfort, restlessness, tension, all the sensations happening.

And this shifted into an opening of the heart, a sense of intimacy, recognizing myself in the others, of belonging, being in the right place, empathy for myself and the others in our shared human experiences, a sense of us.

So here too, there is an example of what is revealed behind a resisted experience.

First, there is a belief in stories and attachment to identities, which brings up experiences which in turn are resisted. These experiences then take on a certain appearance… of arrogance, discomfort and tension. When there is a shift into allowing these experiences, wholeheartedly and in a heartfelt way, there is a shift… into an open heart, a sense of connection, a calm in the midst of whatever activity is there, an interest in what is happening, a sense of us.

The discernment part of the arrogance may well stay the same, or at least retain some of its elements. I can still see that I may have more experience about some of the things people talk about. But the main shift is from a sense of being right and separation to a sense of neutrality of it all and all of us being in the same boat.

The discernment goes from being the basis of seeing myself as better than them, to just neutral information which may or may not have any practical value.

In terms of the three centers, there is also the usual shift.

My view goes from rigidly holding onto a particular story and identity to releasing its grip and being interested in alternative perspectives. I become interested in where people are coming from, and the truth in whatever they are saying.

My heart goes from being closed to opening up… to myself and others, and all of us in our shared humanity.

My emotions go from reactivity to a sense of sweet nurturing fullness.

And in general, there is a shift from resistance and reactivity to allowing and receptivity. And a shift from a sense of separation, discomfort and physical tension, to a sense of us, of belonging, and release and relaxation of the body.

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