Excitement in noticing hangups

As we get familiar with working with hangups in different ways, there is naturally an excitement when one shows up, especially when it is strong and juicy.

There is an excitement because we know ways to work with it, and we know there is gold in in it – in the content of the hangup and in exploring the dynamics around it.

Even if none of our old ways of working with it work anymore, as usually happens at some point, there is gold there too. We get to see our beliefs around it, such as I know, I want it to go away, I want to find gold within it, and so on.

Since none of our ways of working with it work anymore, and that is the whole point, we just have to allow these to wear off over time. Working with it is the intro class, and this is the intermediate one.

For me, over the last several weeks, a great deal of arrogance has been coming up, especially around teachers, teachings and what I read on integral and Buddhist blogs online. I am happy to go fully into it, and even sometimes do or say something stupid from it, because I want to experience it from the inside now, and also stun myself by the stupidity of it 🙂

Some of the ways I work with it…

  • Paying attention to the symptoms of hangups (very familiar to me now): stress, a sense of being right, a sense of separation, tension in the body, going into stories around how I am right and they are wrong, and so on.
  • Fully allowing the experience, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way. Asking myself, can I be with what I am experiencing right now? This one is interesting to explore in the triggering situation, and also later on when I re-trigger it for myself. Especially when I bring in the heart in being with the experience, there is a shift from arrogance to an open heart, from blind judgment to discernment, from a sense of I and them to us.
  • Noticing that I want to be right, that I take a position and identify myself with it, splitting the space into I and Other.
  • Noticing how I am familiar with old identities, and being willing to allow identification with them to go.
  • Working with projections, see myself as the others. I sometimes visualize the person who triggered the hangup in front of me, making it come alive, and then visualize myself as that person – in body, mind and life.
  • Inviting in the heart, empathy for all of us, each caught in habitual patterns.
  • Using tong-len which helps me notice and own projections, opens my heart for all of us, and gives a sense of us.
  • Bringing in the belly, the nurturing fullness and deep felt-sense of trust. This invites receptivity of heart and view.
  • Exploring beliefs. I am right. I know. They should know. They should speak from own experience. They should find it in themselves. They shouldn’t filter Buddhism through New Age and Christian views. They shouldn’t just regurgitate what he (Ken Wilber) says. I have nothing to contribute. Anything I am familiar with is just Life 101, if that.
  • In working with arrogance, noticing and holding the split of simultaneously putting others down and elevating myself, and the other way around. (I am right/they don’t get it, and what I know is not worth anything.)
  • Noticing the shift from these dynamics appearing very personal and intimate, to universal and shared, as identification is released out of them.
  • Just noticing what is happening, as it happens.

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