Is it gone?

It is good to fully allow whatever comes up when we lose something important to us, whether a person, situation, dream or something else. I can allow and be with the experience of it, with compassion and kindness for myself. I can inquire into some stories or beliefs I have around it. I can explore impermanence through stories (everything/one I know will be gone), and also immediately through the sense fields.

But it is also interesting to explore it in a different way. Is it really lost?

When I explore this for myself, I recognize elements of what was lost in others, nature, music and myself. The characteristics and dynamics of it pops up if I look for it. If I am receptive, I may find it everywhere, including right here in myself. In that sense, it is not really lost.

This happens within form, and at the level of my human self – as who I am.

I can also notice what I am – that which experience happens within and as. And here, I see what that person or situation or dream really was in everything.

So situations, people and dreams do go away, in a certain sense, and it is good to acknowledge that and our response to it. That situation or person is gone forever, and there is a stark finality to it. At the same time, is it really lost? Within content of experience, I find elements of that which was lost everywhere – if I am receptive to it – including right here in myself. And when I notice what I am, I see what that person or situation really was in everything.

As usual, this is something that is less than helpful if it becomes a belief. (It can be just another way to deny our human experience.) But it can be quite helpful if we explore it for ourselves.


  • When lose something in our live (situation, person, dream), good to acknowledge the loss (final) and our response to it (grief, anger, sadness, etc.)
    • Allow experience, with compassion and kindness to myself
    • Notice and inquiry into beliefs around it
    • Explore impermanence within stories (everything will pass) and in immediate experience (through sense fields)
  • Also, ask myself – is it really gone? In what ways is it gone? In what ways is it not?
    • It is gone in that form. That situation or person will never come back.
    • It is not gone, in two ways
      • Can notice its characteristics and dynamics in the wider world (others, nature, music etc.) and rigth here in myself. Can appreciate it here now. This happens within form, at the level of who I am as a human being in the world.
      • When notice what I am, can also notice what that was (the situation or person that is lost) everywhere. This happens at the level of what I am, that which everything happens within and as.
  • Together, a richer experience. More satisfying. Feels more true.
    • Acknowledge the finality of the loss, and my responses to it.
    • Also notice in what ways it is not quite lost, within form and as what form happens within and as.

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