Cycling through

Ken Wilber mentioned this somewhere, and I am sure others do as well: The value of states in an awakening context is that we – eventually – find ourselves as that which these states happen within and as.

Content of awareness comes and goes. Clarity and confusion. Samadhi and scattered attention. Kensho and a sense of a separate I. Bliss and dullness. Allowing experience and getting caught up in the drama of it.

Yet through it all, something does not change. All of this happens within and as what we are, as awakeness itself.

And eventually, after having cycled through all of this often enough, that becomes more and more obvious. Whatever happens is awakeness itself. It is the play of awakeness itself. And it doesn’t matter what the content of that play is, in this context.

Where am I in this? Right now, I do get caught up in stories and emotional attachments now and then, but if I look, it is obvious that it is all the play of awakeness itself. It seems to be a middle ground between being caught up in it and take it as real and substantial, and being so comfortable with all as awakeness that nothing has a hook anymore.

There have, of course, been phases where everything is recognized as the play of awakeness and nothing has a hook, but it has always been supported by samadhi, tremendous clarity and so on. Now, it seems that I am invited to see everything as awakeness even in the midst of dullness, getting caught up in knots, a not so stable attention and whatever else is going on. Feels much better, actually.

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