Activity and who & what I am

Whenever a thought comes up that I am something or another, it is an innocent question and an invitation to explore.

So say the thought is, I am not too smart, or what I did was not too smart.

First, I see that it refers to a particular activity. I went out on the deck to clean off the leaves, was a little careless on the wet slimy leaves, and fell. It was not too smart to not anticipate that and pay more attention. It refers to a particular activity, and can and will change over time and situations.

Then, I can explore how it shows up more in general in the life of who I am, of this human self. I can find other specific instances where what I did was not too smart. (No lack of examples there.) I can see it, feel it. And here, there may be a shift into a sense of not having to defend a particular identity, of wholeness, of welcoming more of what I am. And also a sense of recognition, of a wider sense of us, seeing that this is just part of being human. It is part of the job description of being human, so to speak.

And finally, I can explore it in the context of what I am. Am I the activity? Not really, since those come and go. Even the slipping on the deck, which happened less than 30 minutes ago, is not here anymore apart from in a thought. I am not that. And that is the case with anything else showing up in this human self… activities, thoughts, emotions, experiences, a doer, an observer… it all comes and goes, as guests. I cannot really be any of that either. But something does not come and go. What is that?

Initial outline

  • do, refer to activity
    • limited to activity, and will change over time/situations
  • am, as who I am
    • own it, find shared humanity + specifics of how it shows up here
  • what I really am
    • what it happens within and as

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