I keep having dreams where people die, either separately or in groups. These people are often close to me. And over time, it seems that just about anyone close to me in waking life has died in my dreams, including myself, and an even larger number have died who were close to me in the dream but unknown to me in my waking life.
Two nights ago, I dreamed I met someone I had an instant soulful and heartfelt connection with who then died the day after. The night before, I dreamed our cat was instantly killed by a dog. Last night, I dreamed that large numbers of people died from an epidemic.
It seems that if I remember one dream from any one night, someone close to me died in it.
Death shows up in synchronicities as well. Last night, I watched Letters From Iwo Jima where 20,000+ Japanese soldiers fought a hopeless battle and eventually died. During the final scenes of the movie, our cat bring in a bloodied and mangled mouse, alive but clearly dying, as an additional reminder of the inevitability of death.
I am that mouse in a very direct way. But is that what all those dreams are about?
It seems that they mirror the process of kenosis, emptying out identifications, and this is a death process in a very real sense. It is a series of deaths of what I take myself to be.
I experience it clearly during daily life, often in very prosaic ways. And these dreams seem to reflect this process, and also take it further. The dreams themselves are one way identifications empty out.
These dreams are a reminder of something else as well. Identifications with what appears desirable and good, to me and others in this culture, falls away as well.
The people dying in my dreams are close to me. I wish to have them in my life but they are taken away from me, usually resulting in a somber, bittersweet sadness. Somber, because I not only see but also feel how inevitable it is, in my dreams and waking life. Sometimes, the object goes away, including friends, health and desirable futures. Other times, it is just the identification that is worn off or falls away.
- death, of individuals or groups
- often “good” people, the ones I enjoy being with, have a good relationship with
- kenosis, emptying out, also of identifications with the “good” stuff…. letting go of stories that makes me feel good (although do they really?)