Detachment is one of those words we may hear in teachings, yet don’t quite know what means.

What is it for me, when I explore it from own experience?

The main form of detachment is when identification falls away. When I recognize content of experience as what I am, whatever it may be, and also what this happens within and as as what I am. When exclusive identification with stories softens and falls away, the form of identification that excludes parts of what is, the one that creates (the appearance of) an I with an other.

This form of detachment happens in many little ways through for instance inquiry. I identify with a viewpoint and identity, and this creates a sense of I and other. I investigate the story creating that viewpoint and identity, and find what is more true for me. I notice what happens when I hold onto that story as true. I explore who I would be without it. I find the grain of truth in its reversals, and live from one or more of these.

Another way it happens is through allowing experience with kindness, as it is, for what it is. Here too, identification with content of experience softens and is released.

This form of detachment can easily co-exist with acting on stories and emotions. It is part of the juiciness of life to act on stories and emotions, although with this detachment – or softening – of identification, it happens from a different place. There is more room for (a sense of) choice, for acting on it with a little more sanity, maturity, wisdom and kindness.

The word detachment can also be used in other ways. A form of detachment happens whenever I take a story as true, since it “detaches” me from noticing the truths in its reversals, from allowing experience as is, and from noticing what I really am. This form of detachment is also beautiful since it is a sign, an invitation to notice the belief and inquire into it.



  • detachment
    • detachment from mistaken identification (with stories, content of experience)
      • more relative sense, from being blindly caught up in beliefs/emotions
    • through examining beliefs, allowing experience w. kindness
      • examine beliefs, reactive emotions tends to fall away
      • still use emotions to act from, but w. a sense of relating to them differently (more space, perspective, choice)
      • release identification out of stories, content of experience (together with allowing experience + delve into + use emotions etc. as drivers to act on)

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