They don’t care about us

Our culture – whether it is pop or fine culture or any other subculture – is abundant with our universal beliefs.

It is a great place to find stories to inquire into, because I have them too. It is all a mirror for myself.

In this case, I can find where I too believe that they don’t really care about us/me, inquire into it, and find what is more honest for me.

I can still appreciate the conventional view and find the validity and value in it. For instance, I can recognize how the majority or those in power directly or indirectly mistreat minorities and those less powerful. I can even find where I am doing the same in my daily life, and how I participate in these dynamics in our local and global society.

The difference is that when I am still caught up in this belief, I tend to come from reactivity, blame, a rigid view, and often a victim role. And when there is more clarity for me around it, when I find what is more honest for me than the initial story, there is more room to find chocies and actions that may be a little more effective, that come a little more from wisdom, kindness and experience.

They don’t care about me. (The folks who are noisy, spit on the sidewalk, etc.)

  1. True?
    Yes. Feels that way in the situation. I can feel it in my body.
  2. Sure it is true?
    No. It is just an interpretation.
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I feel it in my body. I feel like a victim. I feel hurt. I blame them. I ask myself how they can be so uncaring. I make them wrong. I make myself right.
    • I tell myself they are inconsiderate. That they know well how others experience it and do it anyway. I make them into brutes in my own mind.
    • I close down towards them. I am not willing to see other sides, to look at other ways to look at it.
    • I am dedicated to this one view. I see, feel and live as if it is true.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Clear. Here and now. Interested. Curious about other views and interpretations. Sense of us.
    • I see the innocence all around. In them. In myself.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • They do care about me.
      • Yes, they may act that whether they care about others or not. They may just be unaware of how it is perceived by some others. They may be caught up in their own beliefs so they don’t notice the impact. They may be noisy as a consequence of being caught up in stressful beliefs. (Which is beautiful b/c it is a symptom, an invitation to notice.)
    • I don’t care about them.
      • Yes, more true. When I go into that belief, I don’t care about them. I don’t care what is going on for them. I don’t care how my views on them may affect them.
    • I don’t care about me.
      • Also true. When I have that initial belief, I don’t care about me, I create stress and discomfort for myself.


– pop/mainstream/fine culture, abundance of reminders of our own beliefs
– another place to find stories, inquire into them (all a mirror)
– can still include and appreciate the conventional view, find the validity and value in it – how majority/those in power ignore + directly/indirectly mistreat minorities/less powerful
– but  more clarity around it, less reactivity, more room for choices to come from wisdom + kindness

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