Inquiry: I need life to go my way

I need life to go my way.

  1. True?
    Hm. I can find where it is true for me, so I’ll say yes. I’ll answer the questions from that place.
  2. Sure it is true?
    No. I am not sure. It feels true. Stories tells me it is true. Others may say it is true. But I cannot know. It is just a feeling. An opinion. A viewpoint. A position.
  3. What happens when I take that thought as true?
    • I feel I need life to go my way. My thoughts support the initial belief, flesh it out, make it seem even more true.
    • I take my feelings and thoughts as support for the initial belief. It feels true. Thoughts say it is true. So it appears even more true.
    • I fear life will not go my way. I know life inevitably won’t go my way, and fear what will happen.
    • I experience ambivalence between wanting life to go my way, and knowing it invevitably won’t.
    • When life goes my way, I feel entiteled to it. Life is just doing what it is supposed to.
    • When life does not go my way, I go into victim mode. I feel like a victim. I experience hopelessness. I go into stories of how life does not go my way. I seek and find support for that view, from my own stories and – if I can – others.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Receptive. Engaged with life as it is, free from stories of needing it to go one way or another. Liberated from those stories and their consequences.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • I don’t need life to go my way.
      • No. Life doesn’t always go “my way”, and it is workable.
      • It is just a feeling and opinion. There is no real “need” behind it, apart from in my stories about it.
      • Sometimes, something more interesting happens when life does not follow my expectations, shoulds, and wishes.
    • Life needs me to go my way.
      • Well, yes. To follow my own path, my own heart, living from my own integrity. And even when I don’t, when I am caught up in beliefs and confusion, I am still going my way.
    • Life needs me to go its way.
      • Yes. For me to align my views with reality, life as it is. To release beliefs and find what is more honest for me.

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