Inquiry: Being confused is reserved for people who are not teachers or therapists

Being confused is reserved for people who are not teachers or therapists.

(From a session with a local TRE practitioner who seemed ideological, preachy, assuming I had a particular world view without checking.

Not receptive, curious and with a sense of shared exploration, as I wished.)

True?

Hm. It seems silly phrased that way, but it also comes from a feeling that it’s true.

Sure it’s true?

No. It’s a thought.

What happens when I believe that story?

I get annoyed, frustrated when spiritual teachers or therapists seem confused, not clear.

I make them wrong.

I think they should know better.

I think their students/clients don’t benefit from it.

I make myself into a victim – someone who has to listen to it, do sessions with this therapist.

In this case, I make myself into a victim because I “have to” do sessions with her to be certified.

I obsess a bit about these thoughts. They repeat themselves. Elaborate themselves. Make themselves seem true.

What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t believe that thought?

I am afraid I would do the same – be in the role of teacher/therapist, confused, and not seeing it.

How likely is it? It’s likely. How bad is it? Hm. It’s human. It’s what we all do. We can always be more clear.

Who would I be without that thought?

Hm. OK with teachers and therapists being confused too.

Seeing that it’s human. And that there is always further to go in clarity. There is no endpoint.

Even for teachers who say they have “awakened” there is always further to go in terms of clarity.

They too get stuck at times, caught up in stories and old patterns.

It’s OK. It’s part of life. It’s something we all share.

It’s all something that’s right here.

Turnarounds.

Being confused is reserved for everyone.

Yes. We all all confused, sometimes.

It’s part of being human.

Even when there is an “awakening”, there may be confusion at times – can always be more clear.

Being confused is reserved for me.

Yes. It’s here it’s happening.

Everything I see “out there” is happening here.

It’s reserved for me.

Being confused is reserved for my thinking.

Yes, that’s where confusion comes in.

When thoughts are taken as true, there is confusion.

Being clear is reserved for people who are not teachers or therapists.

Yes, that too.

It’s up to all of us to find our own clarity, without being dependent on teachers or therapists.

The gift of confusion in teachers and therapists is that it brings us back to ourselves. We have to find clarity in ourselves.

It’s their job to be confused, so we can find more clarity.

Being clear is reserved for everyone.

Yes. We can all find it in ourselves.

Being clear is reserved for me.

Yes, that’s equally true.

When I see clarity “out there” it’s happening here.

– o –

Additional turnarounds

She should know better –> I should know better.

Yes. I should know better than getting caught in this belief.

I know that confusion and clarity are not reserved for particular people. It’s reserved for all of us.

When I believe anything else, I set myself up for disappointment and confusion.

She should be receptive, curious and have a sense of shared exploration –> I should be receptive, curious and have a sense of shared exploration.

Yes, and especially towards her.

If I find curiosity and receptivity, I see that she is doing her best. She may go into ideology for a sense of safety, to protect herself, just as I do.

She may talk about it for her own sake, because she needs to hear it.

We are the same here.

She shouldn’t be patronizing –> She should be patronizing.

Yes. It’s what’s happening, according to my story.

It helps me see my own beliefs, and find more clarity.

It brings me back to myself. I cannot rely on her, but need to find it in myself.

It helps me speak up about it (as I did), and if that doesn’t work find someone else (which I may).

Her clients don’t benefit from it –> Her clients do benefit from it.

Yes. They may benefit from what she offers apart from this.

They may benefit from what she says even when it is patronizing, especially if they don’t trigger themselves by it.

They may benefit from being triggered. It’s an invitation to see and get more clear around stories.

She is able to make me uncomfortable –> She is not able to make me uncomfortable.

That’s my job. I am the one who can make myself uncomfortable, through my stories and taking them as true.

She is confused –> I am confused.

Yes, about her. About my stories.

I am confused when I take my stories as true.

When I go into them and take them as true to protect myself, to find safety.

When I am not able to consider other stories as equally or more valid.

When I am not able to know that I don’t know.

She is wasting both or our time –> I am wasting both of our time.

Yes, when I don’t speak up right away.

When I don’t tell her right away my experience, what I would like.

– o –

Additional beliefs

She should know better.

She should be receptive, curious and have a sense of shared exploration.

She shouldn’t be patronizing.

She shouldn’t tell me what I already know, as if I don’t already know it.

She shouldn’t preach.

Her clients don’t benefit from it.

She shouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable.

She is able to make me feel uncomfortable.

She is confused.

She is wasting both of our time.

– o –

Patterns

Fear comes up —> And I go into a belief, defend a belief.

What do I seek?

I seek a sense of safety.

Does it give me a sense of safety or connection?

No. I often act in ways that creates a more uncomfortable situation.

It doesn’t give me what I seek.

–> Main lesson: I seek a sense of safety and connection. How can I best go about creating that?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.