Dredging up some underlying beliefs….
If I allow experience….
I’ll die.
I can’t take it.
I’ll explode.
–> I’ll meet the truth and I won’t survive.
It will be too much.
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I should go into victim mode, feel sorry for myself, because it will….
Bring me to my knees.
Help me peel off beliefs and falsity.
Help me get rid of beliefs.
–> It will help me get to rock bottom.
I need to get to rock bottom.
I need to be brought to my knees.
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Death is wrong – why….?
I am entitled to life.
I won’t be anymore.
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Death is….
Death is terrible.
Death means something terrible has happened.
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I need to resist….
I need to resist death of all my might.
I need to resist experience of all my might.
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If I don’t resist…..
Something terrible will happen.
I will die.
I won’t be anymore.
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I need to pretend…..
I need to pretend I am caught up in stories.
I need to pretend I absolutely have to resist.
I need to pretend something terrible will happen if I am not caught up in stories, resistance.
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I need to pretend, because….
It will keep the drama going.
I will get something out of it.
I will learn from it.
I get to experience how it is when the drama gets extreme.
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I need to keep the drama going, because….
–> It’s good for me.
It will give me something important.
It will help me understand drama from the inside.
It makes me the same as everyone else.
–> It will help me see through and release the dynamics of delusion.
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Keeping the drama going helps me release the dynamics of delusion, because….
It helps me see to the core.
It brings me to see I cannot do it on my own.
It brings me to my wits end.
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I need to be brought to my wits end, because….
It helps me surrender.
It helps me see I cannot do it on my own.
–> It helps me see it’s all God’s will – including what appeared as “my will”.
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Additional beliefs
Drama will help me recognize it’s all God’s will.
Drama will help me surrender.
–> Drama will bring me where I want to go.
–> Drama is my friend.
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Essential beliefs
Death is terrible.
If I don’t resist experience, I’ll die.
Something terrible will happen if I don’t resist experience.
Drama brings me where I want to go.
Drama helps me surrender.
Drama is good for me.
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They are each other’s evidence.
I see that these core beliefs are circular.
They are each other’s evidence.
They have to be since there isn’t anything else that could prop them up.
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