Loneliness in the dark night

It seems common to experience a deep sense of loneliness during a dark night, at least in periods. As Evelyn Underhill says, we feel abandoned by God and man.

Why is that?

I can find several things from my own experience that contributes to this sense of loneliness.

I have lost some friends, including one or two I thought would be life-long friends. (Is it true they are lost? Not really. They are still here in my heart and mind.)

Sometimes, especially in the beginning, I felt – or thought – that others don’t understand what I was going through. (A projection since I am the one who don’t really understand it!)

Wounds from childhood – related to loneliness – has surfaced to heal and release.

The dark night is also a period of weaning off of various dependencies – from the crutches of the spiritual path (practices, insights, hopes, fears, beliefs), experiences related to openings (states, insights, bliss), and identities and circumstances (roles, who I am in the world, purpose, people, opportunities). As the “objects” of my dependencies fall away (fierce grace), or the dependency itself falls away (disillusionment), it’s natural to feel lonely.

And finally, a growing felt-sense of all-one may be accompanied by a a felt-sense of loneliness. The illusion of I and Other is not only seen through, as it may have been earlier, but it’s starting to be felt through. At a deep bodily and emotional level, there may be a growing realization that it’s all one.

So all of these contribute to a sense of loneliness. I lost friends. I sometimes think other’s don’t understand. Old wounds related to childhood loneliness surface to heal. I am weaned off dependencies, including to states, situations and people. And there may be a deepening felt-sense of all as one.

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  • aloneness in the dark night
  • not that many can relate to, may lose friends etc.
  • and also….
  • (a) human – cleared, healed
  • (b) alone = all one, is true – acclimatize to

 

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The dark night is a period of weaning ourselves off from the crutches of our spiritual path (practices, insights), our dependency on the temporary side-effects of awakening (states, experiences), and of our dependency on identities and circumstances (roles, who we are in the world, people).

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draft…..

It seems quite common to experience a deep sense of loneliness during a dark night. As Evelyn Underhill says, we feel abandoned by God and man.

Why is that?

The most obvious is that we may lose some friends and we may think and feel that others don’t understand.

For myself, I also notice that wounds from childhood around loneliness surface to be seen, felt and healed. They surface along with a great deal of other wounds seeking awareness, release and healing.

Perhaps more importantly, the dark night is a period of weaning ourselves off from dependencies – including to the crutches of the spiritual path (practices, insights, beliefs), the temporary side-effects of awakening (states, experiences), and our dependency on identities and circumstances (roles, who we are in the world, people). As the “objects” of our dependency fall away (fierce grace), or our dependency itself falls away (disillusionment), it’s natural to feel lonely.

And finally, when there is a growing felt-sense of all-one,  there may also be a felt-sense of aloneness. There is no other, and no I either. The illusion of an I that can have another is not only seen through, as it may have been earlier, but it’s starting to be felt through. At a deep bodily and emotional level, there may be a growing realization that it’s all one.

So in all of these ways, there may be a sense of loneliness. We may lose friends. We may feel that others can’t quite relate to what we are going through. Old wounds around loneliness may surface to be released. We are weaned off our dependencies, including to states, situations and people. And there may be a deepening of the felt sense of all one.

……….
……….
……….

draft….

It seems common to experience a deep sense of loneliness during a dark night. As Evelyn Underhill says, we feel abandoned by God and man.

Why is that?

We may lose friends. And we may think others don’t understand what we are going through.

For myself, I also notice that wounds from childhood around loneliness surface. They surface along with a great deal of other wounds seeking awareness, release and healing.

The dark night is also a period of weaning ourselves off from dependencies, and this can feel quite lonely. We are weaned off – among other things – the crutches of the spiritual path (practices, insights, beliefs), temporary side-effects of awakening (states, experiences), and our dependency on identities and circumstances (roles, who we are in the world, people). As the “objects” of our dependency fall away (fierce grace), or our dependency itself falls away (disillusionment), it’s natural to feel lonely.

And finally, when there is a growing felt-sense of all-one,  there may also be a felt-sense of lonesomeness. The illusion of an I that can have another is not only seen through, as it may have been earlier, but it’s starting to be felt through. At a deep bodily and emotional level, there may be a growing realization that it’s all one.

So in all of these ways, there may be a sense of loneliness. We may lose friends. We may feel that others can’t quite relate to what we are going through. Old wounds around loneliness may surface to be released. We are weaned off our dependencies, including to states, situations and people. And there may be a deepening of the felt sense of all one.

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