I am a disappointment to God.
I did this inquiry in person, so am skipping to the turnarounds here.
T1: I am not a disappointment to God.
T2: I am a joy to God.
Everything is a joy to God.
(I notice emotions catching up. It’s good for me to stay with this one, to explore it further and allow emotions to catch up.)
T3: God is a disappointment to me.
Definitively true, any time life doesn’t align with my beliefs (my shoulds, expectations, identifications).
Examples: When I got chronic fatigue, when I got sick on my travels last week, when I couldn’t do the level 2 certification in Norway in May as planned.
– o –
I am a disappointment to God, and that means….
God will leave/abandon me.
I will be eternally lost lost/alone/separate.
I will be doomed forever.
I am a disappointment to God because….
I am not living up to my potentials (in art, awakening, activity in the world).
I have chronic fatigue.
I went through a dark night (of the soul).
I made wrong decisions (moving to Wisconsin, leaving my studies at UiO).
I made my life go off track. My life got off track.
–> I failed God.
God is separate and judging.
A basic belief:
God will abandon me. (Situation: Before incarnation.)