I am in a war (in the Balkans?) as an observer with a group of others. The setting is very bleak. A group of freed hostages are without food. I don’t see any direct war activities, only the effects of the war.
At the teleclass for The Work on Thursday, I wrote a list of “the worst that can happen in my life is…”. One item was to be innocently accused and imprisoned, which I dreamed about yesterday. Another was to be in a war situation, which I dreamed about this morning. The setting in this dream was very bleak. We slept on dirty mattresses on the floor in naked concrete buildings. The landscape was devastated from bombings and tanks. A woman in my group of observers was a pilot and had lost her co-pilot the day before. The freed hostages were without food and very hungry. I woke up, wrote this down, and the dream continued after I fell asleep again, with the same people and in the same setting.
When I am at war with myself, this is how it feels – bleak, desolate and a sense of unease. It’s also a reminder that “freed hostages” – for instance images of myself or others that I used to keep “hostage” (see as wrong, at fault, or a victim) may be “freed” through inquiry. The next step may be to “feed” them – through love. I wonder if this came up because I have used ho’oponopono more the last few weeks, and especially on an image of myself as a baby (in a crib in a dark room, alone) the last few days.
Some beliefs that surface:
War is terrible.
It’s terrible to die. It’s terrible to die a violent death. It’s terrible to die young.
It’s possible to die a violent death. It’s possible to die.
Suffering is terrible. Suffering is wrong. Suffering is unbearable. People shouldn’t suffer. It’s possible to suffer.
War is unfair. War is tragedy. It’s wrong to kill someone else.
People’s homes shouldn’t be destroyed.
I should help. I should prevent it. It’s up to me to prevent it.
It harms me to witness violence, death, war. I will die a violent death.
Brutality is terrible. War crimes are terrible. War injuries are terrible.
I need war to stop. I want people to live peacefully. God should make war impossible. War shouldn’t be possible. War is terrible, unjust, a mistake, unbearable. I don’t want to ever experience war again.