I am invited to be the guest of the king and queen of Norway for a few days, and we enjoy a good connection. As part of the visit, I am invited to a Sunday morning church service. It’s a small and beautiful church. I arrive early. As I look for the toilets, I see a large mirror on a wall and a white wolf appears in it. It moves around in the mirror looking at me very intently, as if it wants to convey something to me. I get the sense that it has been expecting me.
The image of an old woman with white hair replaces the wolf. She grimaces at me. Another church goer comes up next to me, also on his way to the bathroom. He has been coming to the church regularly and is familiar with the woman. She now appears in the form of white smoke up under the ceiling, still scowling and grimacing at us.
I decide to find a seat, and three class mates (A., T, S-E) from elementary and middle school comes and sit down next to me. Only I and S-E sing.
(a) I become good friends with the king and queen. We enjoy an easy connection and have much in common. (b) The white wolf in the mirror was beautiful, strong, and had a fierce determination. There was a clear sense that it had been expecting me and wanted to convey something to me, although the time wasn’t quite ripe yet. This was an initial contact. (c) The old woman replacing the wolf brought up some fear in me. She was a ghost, and appeared as white smoke in the room when the other man came. He and the other church goers were used to it and unshaken. (d) My three school mates arriving was a surprise to me. One (A.) was/is (?) an atheist. I am not sure if T. is or not. And S-E had/has a good heart so I was less surprised to see him there. We are the only two who sing along to the hymns. The church itself was small and very beautiful, a jewel of a church.
After waking up, I explore the image of the white wolf. It feels powerful and important, and is somehow very moving for me. The white wolf is strong, independent, primal and with a fierce determination. I get a sense it’s a primal aspect of Christ – fierce and completely at home in the body. It feels a bit overwhelming, and I wonder if the old woman appearing to replace it represents my fears. I used to be quite afraid of ghosts as a child, and that fear surfaced in the dream again. There is a sense that the white wolf is there only for me (at this time), and the ghost is familiar to everyone.
Beliefs about the white wolf, the fierce primal aspect of Christ fully at home in the body:
It’s too much. It’s overwhelming. I am not ready. It will demand too much of me. My life will change too much. I don’t know how to bring it in/live from it. I need to know how to bring it in/live from it.
Beliefs about the ghost:
I need to know what/who she is. She is scary to me. She can harm me.
Childhood beliefs about ghosts:
They are scary, unknown. I don’t want to meet them. They can harm me. They represent something dark.
Day residue: I read about The Quest for the Unicorn a few days ago, and thought about it again last night, especially how unicorns often represent Christ. Before going to sleep, I listened a bit to chapter 15 of The Order of the Phoenix where Sirius Black’s mother appears in a picture, screaming.