A simple process II

 I woke up this morning with a slight sense of dread and terror.

I contacted and stayed with this feeling, and asked:

What does it say? What’s the thought behind the dread?

I won’t survive.

Is it true, I won’t survive?

I stayed with the dread and it’s thought, and the question and what surfaced.

I see I honestly don’t know if it’s true.

I stay with the contraction – the dread and the thought behind it, and not knowing.

(There is a sense that the contraction soften, reorganize, realign.)

Another thought:

It’s terrible if I die.

Is it true?

I don’t know. It may be wonderful. I will be spared.

Again, I stay with the contraction, and what surfaces as an answer to the question.

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I also noticed a slight resistance to the dread, and a fear about what it means.

What does this fear say?

Dread means something terrible will happen.

Is it true, dread means something terrible will happen?

I stay with the contraction – the dread and the thought behind it, and what surfaces after asking this question.

– 0 –

Before I contacted the dread and found the thought behind it, it seemed nebulous and slightly overwhelming.

Staying with the dread, and finding the thought behind it, there was a sense of it becoming more in focus. I also noticed it became more an object in awareness, slightly less identified with.

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