Beliefs around the dark night

Some beliefs I notice around the dark night.

– 0 –

I am slow.

I should get it by now.

I won’t get it.

 – 0 –

It’s too hard.

It requires too much of me.

I am not up to the task.

– 0 –

Others get it.

There is something to get.

It’s a test.

– 0 –

It will be this way forever.

It’s overwhelming.

I won’t be able to function.

– 0 –

It’s better if it’s over.

It should be over by now.

It’s lasting too long.

– 0 –

This thought is true.

This feeling means something terrible will happen.

It’s too much.

– 0 –

I recoil.

It’s too hard to open to it.

It’s easier to recoil.

– 0 –

Collapsing is immature.

Collapsing with it isn’t healthy.

I need to know how to be with it, relate to it.

– 0 –

If I open to it, it will stay.

If I am grateful for it, it will stay.

It’s terrible if it stays.

– 0 –

This is not OK. What’s here is not OK.

This experience (fear, dread, anger, grief) is not OK.

This thought (memory, image) is not OK.

– 0 –

It needs to be big.

It needs to be special.

(Opening to it, being with it.)

– 0 –

Despair is wrong.

Despair means it will last.

It’s despair.

– 0 –

All is lost.

– 0 –

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