What are some of the gifts of the dark night of the soul for me?
Can I find real, simple, specific examples?
Health
(Loss of health.)
I get to see what’s left, remaining beliefs about health and what loss of health means.
It encouraged me to investigate my thoughts about health.
It’s humbling. I see that life lives it’s own life. I cannot always “chose” to pull myself out of any situation.
It’s an opportunity to befriend and find peace with what’s here.
It has given me time to explore and investigate. It has been life’s way of making me live more like a monk.
I have learned more about herbs, especially adaptogens.
Breema showed me even more clearly it’s how I relate to what’s here that’s important. I can find comfort and support in what’s here, including what I could label fatigue etc.
It encouraged me to do TRE and see if it releases trauma/freeze that may be behind the fatigue.
It has helped me see how certain beliefs create fatigue.
I have explored how the label “fatigue” combines with certain sensations to make the experience of fatigue.
It has helped me be more real and open about what’s happening for me.
It invites me to find love for what’s here, as it is.
It invites me to notice my love for myself, independent of how I am or what I do.
It invites me to find value in my life independent of how active/productive I am in the world.
It has helped me see that my job is – at times – to just be with what’s here.
I have discovered how much ginger and cloves (powder in capsules) helps digestion and food intolerance/irritable bowel syndrome.
I value gentle exercise even more – walking in nature, swimming.
Friends
(Loss of friends due to (a) feeling ashamed b/c off track, (b) moving apart, geography, (c) growing apart.)
It invites me to see if I have been spared by losing some of these friendships.
It has opened up space for new people in my life.
It has opened up space for people I connect with more easily and at a deeper level.
It has opened up space for people I resonate with now, and may not have earlier.
Money/work
It has invited me to notice and inquire into my beliefs about money, dependence, approval, survival.
It has showed me the generosity of some in my life.
It has showed me that it’s been OK so far.
I get to see I don’t need much.
Going against clear inner guidance
(Due to fear, beliefs.)
It’s been humbling for me. I see I am not immune to being caught up in fears and beliefs. I am just like others here.
I get to see the contrast between following my inner guidance and not, on something relatively central and lasting in my life.
I understand others who do the same.
I am invited to find more clarity on these fears and beliefs in me.
Moving to/staying in Wisconsin
I got to work with an amazing sustainability organization and learn from amazing people.
I got to know many amazing people in the community.
I got to help many people make changes in their lives they wanted to make.
I got to live in the countryside, with amazing neighbors.
I learned a lot about sustainability and community.
It brought me to Oregon and Breema.
General
The dark night has brought up some of my most basic fears and beliefs.
It invites me to notice and inquire into these.
It invites me to notice it as love, and find love for it.
Being more familiar with this terrain, having lived it to some extent, may help me connect with and support others in a similar process.
I have learned about the dark night of the soul from living it, and later from reading about and talking with others who have gone through it (Barry, Adyashanti). I found Mysticism by Evelyn Underhill and many who have gone through a very similar process as me. This may help me understand and help others going through something similar.
It has helped me see that the dark night is equally or more a brilliant day. It brings much of what’s left to the surface, into the light of awareness.
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