It’s an insight.
Situation: Thoughts about before/after the dark night I just wrote in another blog post.
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Is it true, it’s an insight?
No.
What happens, how do you react, when you have that thought – it’s an insight?
I feel I need to hold onto it, rehearse it.
I am afraid of losing it.
I write it down.
I see it as important.
I tell myself I understand.
I think I am more secure with that insight.
I make it mine.
I feel protective of it.
I think I am getting something important.
I use it as a life raft.
Who would you be without that thought – it’s an insight?
Free. Receptive. Open. Relaxed.
Innocent curiosity.
Free to be with what’s here.
Curiosity about the topic, curious about the different ways of using thoughts to make sense of it.
Recognize it’s all thoughts, innocent questions about the world, an innocent attempt of the mind to make sense of life.
Tender hearted.
Still.
Compassion for the mind/myself in it’s attempt to make sense of life.
Turnarounds
I am an insight.
I am an insight to myself: through my thinking.
I am an insight to others: through my being.
I am an insight to the world: through my blog, photography, inquiry, Breema, TRE.
It’s not an insight.
It’s a thought, an image.
It’s a question about the world.
Insight is a label, another thought. It’s not inherent in what it refers to.
It’s a map, a way or orienting in the world.
It’s confusion.
If I take the thought “insight” as true, it’s confusion.
(It’s more true it’s a thought, a question, a map, and that “insight” is a thought about a thought.)
The map I wrote about may be quite inaccurate, even in a conventional sense.
(People more familiar with the topic may find a different map more useful, as may I in the future.)
When I take the thought “insight” as true, I feel confused.
(I try to hold onto it, protect it, support it etc. I am less receptive, curious, open.)
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Summary
When I am still, I feel the stress inherent in thinking it’s an insight. I take it in.
In the absence of taking the thought as true, I notice freedom, innocent curiosity, stillness, an open heart.
I see what’s more true for me is that it’s a thought, a question, a way or orienting in the world.
I see that it’s more true for me that insight is a thought about a thought.
I see that other and quite different maps may appear more useful for others and for myself in the future.
I notice there is stress and confusion when I tell myself “it’s an insight”.
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Inquiry as meditation
I am reminded of inquiry as meditation.
Still. Let it sink in.
Stay with it.
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