Situations: I need them to see me as OK

I need them to see me as OK. 

(Who I am, my interests, insights.)


This is a list of situations where I had that or similar thoughts – I need them to see me as OK.

I plan to write Judge Your Neighbor worksheets on one or more of these situations, and take the thoughts to inquiry.  

(a) In elementary school, when I raised my hand to answer the teacher and some other students gave me “the look”.

(b) With childhood friends, suggesting something for us to do, the others dismissing it, someone else suggesting the same a few minutes later, and everyone thinking it was a great idea. (Dismissing it just because I said it.)

(c) During the initial opening/awakening in my mid-teens, when what was revealed to me was the “perennial wisdom”, and if I mentioned it, people thought I had read it in a book, thought it was some abstract philosophy, or dismissed it for another reason.

(d) The teachers and students at the Zen center who dismissed my interest in Ken Wilber’s writings, and then some years later thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. (After I had left.)

(e) Saniel Bonder who dismissed it when I shared my experiences with the Zen center, and later became buddies with the main teacher and thought his approach was great.

(f) The main teacher at CSS who seemed to assume I had no experience or insight with anything having to do with spirituality, while just about everything he said or the group explored was already very familiar to me from my own experience and explorations.

(g) The people in the practice group at CSS who – when I took the conversation one or two steps further, or explored the turnaround of what they were talking about – treated me as if I didn’t even get the basics of the first step of what they were talking about. (Which I had explored many years earlier, and didn’t find so interesting anymore.)

(h) Some of the teachers at CSS dismissing it when I question the importance of the connections between quantum physics and spirituality. They seem to think it’s very important to explore and elaborate on those connections, while the same insights can be found through inquiry into our everyday situations and experiences, including what’s here now for each of us. Why make it look more esoteric, removed or abstract than it needs to be? (Also, they didn’t seem to acknowledge that I had explored those connections in depth in my teens and early twenties, reading everything I could find on the topic, and moved on from it after some years.)

(i) Anytime a teacher or group seem to think they “get it” and others don’t, or where senior folks think they “get it” while newer folks don’t (even if they have as much or more experience). Btw: That’s partly why I am drawn to teachers, groups and approaches where it’s clear that everyone are equal in their access to insights, clarity and wisdom. The Work, the Big Mind Process, and Headless experiments are good examples of this.

(j) In my mind, when I think of people now ignoring/dismissing and in the future agreeing on sustainability (partnership and solution oriented) as a top priority, equal respect for humans and non-human animals, the universe story as our shared origin story/mythology, an economical system aligned with ecological realities, the importance of practicing a stable attention/exploring a different relationship with thought etc.

In general: People dismissing my interests and/or insights, especially when they later come upon the same and think it’s the best thing ever.

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