It may be interesting to go back into a situation in early childhood where I threw a tantrum, write a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet from that situation, and see what I find.
Situation: I was six or seven years old, in London with my parents, and after a long day I wanted coke in a can – my favorite. They didn’t have it, my parents bought me a nice ivory pen knife instead, and I threw it on the ground, stomped my feet, and screamed.
1. I am angry at my parents because they dragged me around London, made me exhausted, and now can’t get me coke in a can.
2. My parents should get me coke in a can, they shouldn’t make me tired, they should listen to me, they should understand how tired I am.
3. I want my parents to listen to me, make sure I am comfortable, get me coke in a can when I am tired.
4. I need my parents to listen to me, make sure I am comfortable, make sure I get what I want.
5. My parents are inconsiderate, think about themselves, don’t understand how tired I am, incompetent in getting me coke in a can.
6. I don’t ever want to experience my parents disappointing me again.