Mini-inquiry: I need them to see me as OK

I did an inquiry yesterday on I need them to see me as OK. The situation was a group in Oregon where I spoke up and felt misunderstood, and also in elementary school where I raised my hand and got “the look” from a couple of class mates.

Here is the first turnaround:

I need me to see me as OK.

I found several examples of how this is as or more true than the initial statement (I need them to see me as OK).

It’s more peaceful, I am available to take care of myself, I am more friendly to myself and others, I find love for myself, I am more engaged, there is a sense of connection (with myself, others, life), there is more receptivity, there is a sense of coming home.

And how can I do it?

(a) When I come from honesty, I see myself as OK. When I am honest with myself and others, and live in integrity. In this particular inquiry situation, when I speak honestly and respond honestly.

(b) When I find love for others (my “enemy”), there is a relief and I experience myself as OK. When I pray for others – especially those I tell myself am not giving me what I want – and myself. When I do ho’o or tonglen. When I inquire into my thoughts about others, and find what’s more true for me. In these ways, I find or shift into love for others and myself. I may also see it’s all already love.

(c) When I inquire into a belief and find what’s more true for me, I see – through simple, real, and honest examples – I am OK, and that others and life is OK. At least, that’s been my experience so far.

(d) In the specific situation I did inquiry on, I see that we like each other, he seemed to have the best of intentions, and it was most likely an innocent misunderstanding. Also, we are all there to explore together, so whatever I say from honesty is completely fine. It’s where I am at. That’s why we are there.

Another turnaround is:

I need me to see them as OK.

This is also more true than the initial statement. When I see them as OK, I find peace. It feels right. I find peace with them, myself, the world. I find clarity. Receptivity. I am more engaged. I relate to them and myself in a more friendly way. I feel more connected with them, myself and life. Mini-

And finally:

I don’t need them to see me as OK.

Having found – and felt – clear and honest examples for the two previous turnarounds, I see and feel that I don’t need them to see me as OK. It’s more important for me to see myself as OK, and see them as OK. That’s where I find what I am looking for.



– find love for others (my “enemy”), then also for myself, see me as OK
– when am honest, in integrity, see me as OK
– any thought taken as true, don’t see me as OK – stressful, leave home


I may also see it’s all already love (confused or clear love through us humans, and all already happening as love, as Spirit, awareness).

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