Although I have only watched a couple of videos with Scott Kiloby, I notice his approach seems quite familiar to me and I would like to explore it further.
At the end of this interview on Conscious TV, he outlines briefly a simple way to explore seeking and addictions. Here is how I used this for myself later:
Identify a seeking, or an addiction or addictive tendency. It can be anything – food, alcohol, sugar, internet, the idea of awakening, sex, relationships, a particular relationship, a regret, a fear, a hope etc. Anywhere where I think I am missing something, need something, and seek after it in a somewhat compulsive manner.
What do you hope to get out of having it? What do you hope to find if you had this? What’s the (perceived) need you hope to fulfill?
Imagine having what you seek. Find it in your body. Feel it in your body. Take time to feel it.
Imagine how it is when the seeking falls away. Feel it in your body. (The seeking falls away since you have what you seek.)
Are you open to find this again in your body next time the addictive impulse comes up? Can you find where you are open to finding / feeling it?
I explored this on a couple of different addictive tendencies:
Taking thought as true. – I hope to find safety. When I imagine finding this safety, I notice a deep relaxation in my body, deep sense of well being, comfort.
The acceptance, approval and love of others. – I hope to find a deep sense of being OK as I am. There is a deep relaxation in my body, an aliveness.
Through this, I get to see what I hope to get out of approval, money, sugar, awakening or whatever it may be. I get to see that what I seek is available here and now. (The only thing that stops me from noticing and feeling it is the thought it’s not here, and I need something in the world to experience it.) And that when the addictive impulse surface, I can find what I seek here and now, before or without engaging in the behavior. There is huge relief in this.
Here it is in a nutshell: (1) Identify an addiction or seeking. (b) What do you hope to get out of it? What need do you hope to fulfill? (c) Imagine having it, and notice how it feels in your body. (d) Imagine how it is when the seeking falls away. (e) Are you open to find this next time this addiction comes up?