Here are four levels of communication:
Level 1 – superficial (weather, sports).
Level 2 – meaningful, something you care about (activist topics, politics, someone close to you).
Level 3 – about me, personal (revealing what’s going on inside).
Level 4 – you & me, about me and the other person (our relationship, how I see you/feel about you, what I wish for).
I notice the fourth is by far the most challenging one for me. Not talking about you and me is also what has created the situations in my life I have regretted the most, usually because of missed opportunities. And I also see that when I don’t bring up level 4, or am not transparent and real at that level, the other person may make up stories about how I see our relationship, and act on those stories (which can be quite different from what’s really going on for me).
Talking about you and me, what I fear the most would happen is….
I will be too vulnerable.
You will think I am weird.
You will see me as nervous and awkward.
You will share and it will hurt.
You will talk about me behind my back.
You will reject me.
You will see me as too sentimental.
Note: Thanks to Kiara for this….!