I sometimes notice a lack of capacity to meet what’s surfacing, and also a collapse when what’s surfacing is strong and the capacity is low. This has happened more frequently after the dark night set in, and especially after the chronic fatigue. Where I used to think that “I” could relate to anything in an intentional and sane way, I am now experiencing the reverse, and it’s humbling in a good way. It shows me something about control that wasn’t so clear to me before. I used to know at a conscious level that there is no (absolute, final) control. Now, I get to live it.
To collapse, and lack of capacity, respectively:
You are welcome here.
Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your deep devotion for me. Thank you for your deep love for me.
How would you like me to be with you?
What do you long for, what would satisfy you forever?
Who/what do you protect?
Is there a natural strength there?
Who are you really?