Heartache

As part of the darkness seeking the light, as Adya says it, heartache has surfaced off and on for the last one or two years.

Here are a few things I notice:

My sense is that it’s roots, in this life, is from quite early childhood. It may have to do with feeling that my mother sometimes didn’t meet my needs. It’s connected with being frozen and paralyzed, and also a pattern of hesitating when I am at the threshold of something good, and losing the opportunity. Here are some beliefs: I am unloved, unlovable. It’s hopeless. I can’t have what I want.

Although the sensations may be quite mild, it’s experienced strongly because of the beliefs attached to it. Here are some beliefs: Heartache means something terrible has happened. What could have been would have been better (than this).

And some ways to explore it:

Ho’oponopono on the heartache, my response, the situations associated with it.

Meeting it in satsang. Notice it is from love, is love, and meeting it with love. Notice it is awareness itself.

Feel, breathe, ask the divine (Christ) for healing, to be shown what I need to see, ask how it looks from the perspective of the divine (Big Mind/Heart/Belly, Christ).

Go into Big Heart, and meet and hold the parts of me that feels unloved from (within/as) Big Heart.

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