Thank you for protecting me

When I hold satsang with what’s here, each of the sentences I work with are questions for inquiry. There is a curiosity there.

For instance, I had a story of (a) somebody else’s anger, (b) strong energy being directed towards me,  and (c) headache and a strong contraction in my head and neck area. I also knew that this was all happening within my own world of experience, my own field of awareness.

So I held satsang with the symptoms in my head area, and my stories about it.

When I said thank you for protecting me, there is a quiet question there. How is it protecting me, if it is?

I saw that just as with the witch in my childhood dream, I have created this whole story – of anger, energy being directed at me, and being impacted by it – as a way to protect myself. I see that it comes from a wish to protect (the image of) me, and it comes from love.

The story, which seemed nasty and unpleasant, was revealed as love. And through this, something relaxed. I found love for my own story and the intention behind it. (And it doesn’t mean I need to stay in or seek such situations in the future. It’s more likely that this shift for me will make it easier for me to take care of myself.)

This is also a reminder of what Adyashanti sometimes talks about. During an awakening process, it’s not uncommon for people to be quite sensitive to (what a thought would say is) the energies of others. And sometimes, we can be quite impacted by it. As Adya says, we are open “in the front” but not “in the back”. We take in but don’t know how to let it pass through and release. Holding satsang with it is one of the ways it can release. And we can also do The Work, do ho’o or tonglen, or other forms of explorations. It moves through with less or no stickiness as we see more clearly what’s really going on.

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