I am going to do a “CI package” – three or four compulsion inquiry sessions in a row – on internet and podcast compulsion.
It’s not a very strong compulsion, but it’s there. If I have some time to spare, I often go on the internet and read news and science, go on Facebook (most of my friends post interesting things on sustainability, psychology spirituality etc.), and sometimes watch videos on NRK, BBC, Youtube or other places. Similarly, if I go for a walk, or take a rest, and also before falling asleep at night, I often listen to podcasts and audio (science, Adyashanti etc.). As soon as my life is filled with something else that’s more meaningful, I am very happy to not go on the internet or listen to podcasts. It often feels like a relief.
I see three reasons behind this slight compulsion:
It’s an escape, a way to avoid feeling what’s here. A way to avoid feeling what appears as uncomfortable feelings in the body, and avoid looking at the associated (and apparently uncomfortable or scary) words and images.
I wish to understand and know as much as possible about the world – through science, psychology and spirituality (nondual, integral etc.). My mind is trying to find a sense of security and safety that way.
I wish to experience and know about as much as possible. There is a slight compulsion to have a sense of richness of experiences. There is a desire to not “miss out”, and also to connect.
The aim of the compulsion inquiry, if there is one, is to see what’s here, to see how my compulsion is created. And also to find a freedom around the topic, in this case a relaxed and comfortable freedom to go on the internet and listen to podcasts, or not.
– internet compulsion – news, science, fb, youtube
– podcast compulsion – while walking, cooking, before falling asleep
– escape / avoid feeling (comfort, scary to feel what’s here)
– understanding (sense of safety)
– richness of experience, want to experience “everything” (not miss out)