I am still in what can be called a dark night of the soul, and it’s still quite challenging. My brain feels foggy. There is fatigue. Painful emotions surface. Painful memories come up. The rug keeps being pulled out from under my feet.
And a living koan keeps coming up for me related to this.
On the one hand, there is love. Finding love for what’s here, and recognizing it as love.
On the other hand, there is aiming for it to move through as easily as possible.
Both are from kindness and wisdom. And both can clearly co-exist, are mutually supportive of each other, and complementary.
Love helps me recognize that what’s here is the divine. The divine recognizes itself as even what a thought may call difficult.
Aiming for it to move through keeps the bigger picture alive, and is a reminder to feel what’s surfacing without wallowing in it.
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– loving presence for what’s here, finding love for it, recognizing it as love etc.
– also, aim of moving through as easily as possible
– dn + any “difficult” emotions, experiences, pain etc. (longer phase + more momentary experiences)
– for me, possibly a belief that there is value in “getting stuck” there + “shouldn’t” wish to move through it
– love + ask to move through easily
– if not love, then resistance, don’t recognize it as the divine
– if not asking to move through, may get “stuck” there, wallow in it, see it as valuable in itself (which it may be, although can still ask to move through)
– kindness and wisdom (love + move through)