During this most recent spiritual emergency (a dark night), I have noticed becoming far more self-focused than before.
And I imagine this may be common for people in a spiritual emergency.
Here are some reasons why this may happen:
We need time to heal and rest.
We need to address what’s here, especially if wounds, traumas and hangups surface to be loved, felt and seen through.
We have lived a generous, selfless and service-oriented life prior to this, and it was partly from a should (and also from love and insight). This phase of self-focus allows us to find more comfort in taking care of ourselves when that’s needed, and not just living a life for others.
We may get caught in self-pity, wounds and traumas, and get self-focused in that way. This too is an invitation for us to meet what’s coming up, find love for it, and see through it. (Also, we may get temporarily caught in wounds from childhood or teenage years, which can bring back the natural self-involvement from that time in our life.)
We may be focused on the process we are in, and in supporting and understanding it. What we explore is universal – flavored by the uniqueness of our particular life – and what we learn can be of help to others later.
There is nothing wrong here. It’s a phase. It helps us learn to take care of ourselves. It helps us see through shoulds around service and even “saving the world”.