Welcome, love, not findable

Rupert Spira’s quote applies to just about anything in my experience of the world.

First I create it. The build it up. Then struggle with it. (Or not.) Then allow it. Then welcome it. Then love it. Then notice it’s not there. (As I thought it was.)

For me, one of the things I have struggled with is heartache.

I allowed it, and noticed it is already allowed (by life, consciousness, love).

I welcomed it. You are welcome here. I am sorry for having pushed you away. 

I loved it, and noticed it is confused love. I wish you love. I love you. Thank you for your protection. Thank you for your love. 

I looked for it. Found it as words, images and sensations. And didn’t find it as what I thought it was.

Through this, I also felt it. Is it true it’s too much to feel? How is it to feel the heartache? How is it to set aside images and words, and feel the sensations as sensations? How is it to see through the images and words, and feel sensations as sensations? 

Somehow, it feels more complete and thorough when these are all included – the allowing, welcoming, love, (un)finding, and feeling it.

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