Hardening vs softening

One way of exploring what’s here is through noticing hardening and softening.

When there is a hardening – of body, emotions, thoughts – there is a fueling of identification. It tightens. And it is often accompanied by putting blame “out there” on life, others, God, circumstances. Muscles tighten, velcro solidifies (the “glue” that holds certain images, words and sensations together), identification strengthens, fear is rejected. These are all symptoms of the same hardening or tightening.

When there is a softening, there is a softening of body, emotions, thoughts, and identification. What’s here is allowed, or noticed as already allowed. What’s here, including what may have hardened, is allowed, noticed as already allowed, and met with kindness and love. Words are seen more easily as words. Images as images. Sensations are felt more easily as sensations. Fear is allowed, met with kindness, softened into, felt as sensations. There is a “coming home” through allowing what’s here, and seeing and feeling what’s here.



– hardening – fueling identification, contraction (body, emotional, mind), blame, putting it “out there” (blame, shoulds, fears, hopes)
– softening – meeting these parts of us with allowing, welcome, love, curiosity, also confession (confession to myself, others, my fears, hopes, contractions etc.)


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