Our human self seeks healing.
So even – or perhaps especially – when we are in a safe environment, wounds may surface in order to find healing.
And when that happens, it can be confusing to us and those around us.
When we meet wounds, it can be confusing. As they say in trauma work, we may even come out of freeze and into fight or flight.
So how do we relate to it? The first may be to know that it’s normal, and even a part of a possible healing process.
Deep wounds may cause us to behave in uncharacteristic ways. (Or characteristically if it’s been going on for a while.) We may lash out. Want to escape. Crave company. Avoid company.
And that too – whether it happens in ourselves or someone else – can be met with presence, care, and a quiet love. We can hold it in our presence. And we can hold each other physically as well.
And, as we are ready, we can find curiosity about it. We can even explore it in a more systematic way, through inquiry. What do I find when I explore the beliefs about it, and possibly behind it? (Is it true? What happens when hold it as true? Who would I be without it? What’s the validity in the turnarounds?) What do I find when I explore how it’s created in immediate experience? Can I find the actual threat? Can I find someone threatened? (Can I find it in words, images, sensations?)
There are also many other things that can be helpful. Nature. Gardening. Nourishing food, company and activities. TFT, EMDR, TRE, craniosacral, and other modalities.
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– good/safe environment, trauma may surface (system seeks healing, brings it up)
– including in good relationships
– when coming out of trauma….. freeze -> fight/flight, how to relate to in best possible way? (for self, others)
– loving presence – internally + with another
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Our systems, our body and mind, seek healing.
So even – or perhaps especially – when we are in a safe environment, trauma may surface in order to find healing.
And when that happens, it can be confusing to us and those around us.
When we come out of trauma, it seems that we often come out of freeze and into fight or flight.