Why would I want this?

When I find myself in a situation I don’t particularly like, I can ask myself:

Why would I want this?

Why would I want to put myself in this situation?

What do I think I will get out of it?

What would be a good reason, in my mind?

Asking honestly, and seeing what comes up. And then meeting that with presence and love, followed by curiosity. Inquire into the fears, identifications, and deficient selves behind it.

For instance:

Situation: Chronic fatigue + brain fog. (CFS.)

Why would I want it: To get out of a situation that felt wrong, and I was afraid to get out of otherwise. To (temporarily) retreat from the world, take care of myself. To see that I am taken care of, even when I cannot take care of myself as I used to. To face fears and beliefs around illness and not being able to be as self-reliant as I used to. To see what’s left in me in terms of identifications and unloved/unquestioned fears.

Note: This doesn’t mean that “I created it” in a conventional sense. This is just a way to explore what’s there for me. To see what my mind thinks I’ll get out of it, and then meet that with presence and love, and also examine it.

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