Finding love for identification

Mind sometimes identifies with a viewpoint, or a collection of viewpoints. It takes itself to be that viewpoint, and the identity created from the viewpoint. There is some fluidity in what viewpoints are in the foreground, although there also tends to be some recurrent ones.

The dynamics of identifications is also what sometimes, perhaps a bit misleading, is called “ego”.

This is what tends to create stress and suffering, at least if it’s not seen, felt, and loved.

And that’s perhaps the key to this. Identification itself is not a problem. It’s innocent. It comes from worried love. (And is also what creates this worried love.)

The suffering comes more from not seeing this, and not meeting it with understanding, respect, and love. That creates a rightness around the whole dynamic.

So why not explore this. What happens when I believe a certain (any) thought? What’s more true for me? How is it to meet this – the identification, the stress, the reactions to identification – with love? How is it to rest with the images, word, and sensations that are here, making up identification and the reaction to it?

It’s understandable if the first reaction to seeing the results of identification is to see it as “bad” or undesirable, or something we need to get rid of.

So why not include that too – in the rest and inquiry. Why not see that too as worried love? Why not meet that too with love?

That tends to soften the whole dynamic. By resting with it, it rests. By recognizing it as love, it’s easier to find love for it. By finding love for it, it tends to soften and relax.

This is written in a more general and abstract way. In practice, I can take whatever concrete identification that’s here – any stressful thought or reaction – and explore it in this way.

For instance, I now have a wound triggered around: (a) not sharing essential information about my situation and wishes when that would have been the most kind. (b) Following the advice of someone I trusted even if it was based on incomplete information and went against my own common sense and guidance. And (c) feeling misunderstood and not seen when I tried to clear this up. There is also (d) a victim identity triggered from this. I feel a victim of others or life, even if I was the one who withheld essential information, and choose to follow advice I strongly suspected want not good for me.

Another way of saying this is that I sometimes feel hurt when others make (incorrect) assumptions about me or what I want, don’t say anything to correct it, and then feel resentful about it – especially if have acted on their advice. There is a victim mentality behind this, and also a deep wound.

This comes from and has triggered a deep childhood wound, and it feels very young. I also see a reaction to it, a fear from seeing the hurt, the youngness of it, what happens when I act or speak from it.

So I can see the innocence in what’s here. That it’s worried love. I can rest with the sensations, and the words and images connected with it. I can meet it with love.

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