I keep seeing this for myself. When I suffering, it’s because I am dragging my feet.
I know some ways through it. And yet I sometimes don’t do it. I don’t feel quite ready. There are still parts of me that believes I am getting something out of it. I am sometimes still caught in the victim mentality. A part of me believes nothing can be done about it.
When the dark night set in, it brought the victim mentality to the surface, and I suspect the victim mentality creates situations that highlights it even more. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I am caught in it, I perceive and live as if I am a victim, so that’s what I get in life. I get more losses. More things that don’t work out. And I perceive it through the lens of being a victim.
At some point, it may be enough. I have seen the dynamics of it enough times. I have lived through it enough. Something in me choses to more consistently turn around my relationship with it. See it more as it is. As a part of me. Do whatever is necessary for identification with it to soften and more often release.
And that point is now. It’s always up to myself here and now.
What is my orientation now?