Seeking is a natural part of being human.
It has an evolutionary function. It helps us survive and even thrive.
At the same time, seeking can create suffering when it becomes too serious and heavy. When we think we really need what we seek in order to be content, or happy, or whatever else we think it will give us.
It sometimes feels like a matter of life and death.
For me, there are the usual (these days) ways of exploring it.
Resting with it. Resting with the sensations, words, images, of (a) seeking, or (b) what I seek, or (c) what I am afraid would happen if I don’t have it. Notice. Allow. Notice the space within and around it. Notice it’s happening as and within awareness.
Meeting it with kindness, love. Holding satsang with it.
See if I can find (a) seeking, or (b) what I seek, or (c) what I am afraid will happen if I don’t have it. Can I find it, outside of words, images, sensations? Is it there, in the way it initially appeared to be?
Some things I am (sometimes) seeking: Love, approval, feeling OK. Peace. Enlightenment. Contentment. Clarity. Insight. Understanding. Respect. Flow. Ease. Connection. Relationships. Friendships. Love or friendship from someone attractive and popular. (Since it means I must be OK.) Food. Money. Entertainment. Enjoyment. Status. Income. Satisfaction. Safety.
What I am afraid would happen if I don’t have it: I’ll be broken. Unhappy. Unsatisfied. Disliked. Hated. Ignored. Alone. Miserable. Crazy. Tormented. Shun. Doomed.
So I can give myself what I seek. I can give myself – my own experiences, my images, words, sensations – kindness, love, approval, friendship, respect, welcome. I can see that it’s not what it initially appears to be. I can try to find it outside of words, images, and sensations, and perhaps not find it. All of that softens the seeking. It becomes lighter. More fun and enjoyable.
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Initial notes…..
– find what I seek….. love, peace, enlightenment
– find what I fear if don’t get it…… discomfort, unhappiness,
– meet it with love, rest with it