Most of us experience a wish for resolution. It seems almost built in.
And that makes sense. I assume that for our ancestors – both human and those before – the drive to seek resolution benefited them. It helped them survive and pass on that particular trait.
We can find resolution in several different ways:
In a conventional sense, by taking care of our life and situations we find ourselves in.
At the story level, by reframing, question our thoughts, look at it from other perspectives, see that what we thought happened didn’t, and so on. (The Work, cognitive therapy.)
At the basic perception level. For instance by looking for a deficient or inflated self, a threat, a compulsion or similar. Seeing how our minds create these stories and experiences. And perhaps being unable to find what we are looking for outside of images, words, and sensations, and that those are not “it” either. (Living Inquiries.)
Through meeting our experience with kindness. Finding love for our experience, for our hurt, pain, anger, grief, sadness, wounds, trauma, discomfort, physical pain, and more.
By resting with what’s here. Notice. Allow. Resting with whatever is here in our experience. Notice the space it’s happening within. Shifting from thinking to noticing. This is a form of kindness towards our experience, and ourselves. It also helps us find ourselves as that we already are, that which all experience happens within and as.
There is something else we can do to find a sense of resolution. We can include our (very human) desire for resolution, and perceived threats in not finding it, in what we explore using the approaches above.
We can question our beliefs about resolution, and any scary stories of what may happen if we don’t find it. We can see if we can find a thing called “resolution”, or lack of resolution, a threat, or a command to find resolution. We can meet this in us with kindness, and find love for it. We can rest with it, in kind presence.
We may still seek resolution, including in the very ordinary and everyday ways. And now with more ease. And less sense that it has to happen or has to happen a certain way. (Less compulsively.)
– different forms of resolution
– most of us wish for resolution, drive for resolution
– conventional sense, take care of things in the world
– story level – reframing, see what thought happened didn’t etc.
– basic perception level – unfinding
– rest with – notice + allow,
– look for resolution, drive for resolution, what needs to be resolved, threat in not being able to, command to resolve – unfind **** (another level of resolution….)