It’s interesting how we can have an idea of awareness as somehow separate from its content, so we can imagine – and feel and experience – that we are resting as awareness, split off from or distant from its content, and use that as a way to avoid feeling what’s here. We don’t recognize that we attach to an idea. We also may not recognize that awareness is its content. Whatever is here – feelings and all – is awareness.
More subtly, we may genuinely rest with and as what’s here, although with the intention of using it to not feel whatever uncomfortable feelings are here. We may bring attention away from the uncomfortable feelings, and do it in a slightly compulsive way.
Again, nothing is wrong here. It’s perhaps even natural to have a phase like this, or to dip into it now and then. And it’s good to notice. And perhaps inquire into.
Can I find…. Awareness. A boundary between awareness and this uncomfortable feeling? The threat in feeling this feeling? The feeling itself? Someone afraid to feel it? How do these appear in images, words, and sensations? Can I find any of them outside of these images, words, and sensations? Are these images, words, and sensations “it”, what I am looking for?
This can lead to a more relaxed resting. A resting with what’s here as it is, including any (initially uncomfortable) feelings. I can rest with it. Feel. Allow.