What is Spirit if not all there is? And wouldn’t that include our human messiness, as it is?
It’s natural, and even essential and healthy, to have our very human preferences.
We may prefer certain aspects of Spirit, or reality. We may prefer expansiveness, bliss, clarity, flow. That’s natural and understandable.
And yet, as we mature in our exploration of Spirit as all, there is a distinction here that becomes more clear for us. The distinction between all as Spirit, and our preferences.
At first, our preferences may be held as more solid and real. And after a while, there is an invitation for them to be seen for what they are – our human preferences – and held more lightly.
We see that what’s here is Spirit, even if it takes the form of our human messiness, or contractions, or pain, or whatever else we would prefer to not experience. We recognize this too as Spirit, every bit as much as anything else.
We find our way. We recognize what’s here as Spirit. Complete. Already allowed. Already even a form of love. And we recognize our preferences for what they are. Held lightly. Something we can act on, while still recognizing what’s here as Spirit, as already allowed.
We find our way, allowing both since they both are already here. All is Spirit, including our preferences. We recognize the pain in holding onto those preferences too tightly. We recognize the kindness in taking those preferences into consideration, and acting on them in a very ordinary way in daily life.
This is what so many have talked about and lived. Let Your will be done. While still living a very ordinary human life, kind to ourselves and others.
Early on, we may confuse Spirit with our human preferences. We may see Spirit as expansive, bliss, flow, love, and more. We may seek that aspect of reality, and seek to escape the rest. It doesn’t work very well. It’s painful. And at some point, we get to recognize that. We find a wider embrace of Spirit. We find a simpler Spirit, as what’s already here.
We recognize the pain in holding onto our preferences too tightly, and in confusing Spirit with our preferences. We recognize the freedom in recognizing Spirit as what’s here now, complete, with nothing missing.
Spirit right now is a slight buzz in the forehead, a contraction in the throat, a sense of weakness in the kidney areas, darkness, a bright screen, tapping, organ music, sounds of insects, these words. Noticed. Allowed.
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Initial draft….
What is Spirit if not all there is? And wouldn’t that include our human messiness, as it is?
I overheard a conversation yesterday where two people described their experience of their “true nature” or spaciousness. It seemed quite one-sided, leaving out the human messiness, contractions, distress and more. That too is included, at least in my experience. That too is part of it. As it is.
Of course, it’s tempting to split life or reality in two. Spirit is all these good things. Human messiness is something else. That’s the “dream of the ego”. It’s what we dream of, as long as we still struggle with our human experience. As along as we wish for the difficult parts of it to go away.
My path seems quite typical. I had an opening where (a) all was revealed as Spirit, without exception, and (b) I still held onto my (very natural, very human) preferences as if they were more than that.
I sought the more expansive experiences, the clarity, a certain feeling, and more, and saw that as more Spirit or more “enlightened” than the rest. I wouldn’t say it, because I knew it wasn’t true, but I felt it. Some part of me experienced it as true.
After some time in the dark night, it’s more obvious that what’s here – as it is – is Spirit. This is it. There are still preferences, and they are more recognized as preferences. Of course, there are still parts of me experiencing preferences as true.